Ezekiel 37: 1-14
“10 So I prophesied as I was commanded and breath came into them, and they lived and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly army.”
This past few weeks there have happened a lot that had my silence on my blog as a result. I had lots of work to do at school as well as at home since the seasons are changing and cupboards had to be organized with summer clothes at reach and winter clothes packed away. I also got myself involved at SU (scripture union) at school. This is a group for the children that can be attended voluntarily to do bible study and do other Christian activities. In between all this my own children’s’ concerts and other activities also had to get my attention. While life was happening I also had this inner struggle with myself.
Are my choices in my marriage pleasing and acceptable to God, is He “ok” with how we chose to handle things. Or are these choices merely an “excuse” for deep rooted desires that I have had since childhood. Some sort of smoke screen. Do these activities provide false evidence and am I just walking deeper into a dark forest of my own fleshly desires. If so, why has these desires been part of been, what is the reason for them. Though I have experienced much positive results in my marriage, can this just be temporally, a quick fix? Is this an area in my spiritual life that can be labelled as a “dry bone” area? If so how will I get the knowledge and the counsel of the Holy Spirit so that God’s breath can breathe on these dry bones in my life? Since God has been pretty much silent about this to me. Should I get help?
Or am I complicating my relationship with God and my husband with unnecessary guilt and should I just accept the way my marriage is and do what is working for us at the moment. But you know, for me God must come first in my life I can’t just leave something I need to know that I know that I am right with God. I need to know that there is nothing between us. He is my first love I would not dare to ignore something purposefully if there is a possibility that it can jeopardise my relationship with Him.
So this is what was going on and still is. Confusion does not come from God, so why am I confused?
Please do not misunderstand me I do still believe with my whole heart in the roles of a husband and wife in a household but it is certain activities in my own marriage that needs to be revisited. Until then I will have to be honest I cannot call my marriage “DD” any more since I need to find my answers first.
For now I can only pray that God will grant me His wisdom and peace but also breathe on my dry bones those that I am aware of and not.